I am just going to say right off the bat that I can't say the smallest part of how I feel haha. It is hard to put into words the feelings and emotions I am feeling as I think about my mission and what it has taught me. But I am going to try. So I apologize if this email sounds random or cliche ahah, anyways, here goes..
I just can't believe that this is it. Last email. In literally 2 days I will be running into my mama's arms. Man, I just can't believe it. My mission felt like an eternity and also like 4.5 seconds.
We said SO MANY goodbyes this week. It's hard!! I don't want to leave these people! They have all taken such good care of me. I am really going to miss them. There is a quote from Winnie the Pooh that I am going to butcher, but it goes something like, "How lucky I am to have friends that make saying goodbye so difficult." True doctrine. I am grateful for each person that I have gotten the chance to know and love here. We had a wonderful brunch with sister Gallant and Darlene. Some of my favorite people. Oh how I love them! It was so nice! We also visited most of the members. They are wonderful. I got to see sister Lecky too! Oh I was so happy about that. She was the lady that knew my daddy. I got to visit with her one last time. It was such a tender experience. I am grateful for the relationship she forged with my dad all those years ago, because now I have something more meaningful to hold onto. Every little thing we do matters.
As you can imagine I have been looking back a lot and pondering about what I have learned and what I have become these last 18 months. The things I have learned about life and about people and about my Savior are the most valuable things I could have ever asked for. I have gotten the question a lot recently, "what is the biggest thing you learned on your mission?" My answer changes from day to day haha. But today I think that the best thing I learned is God's love for his children. He has been so so kind to me. Looking back I am able to clearly see how many times he saved me, and how many times he blessed me. Sometimes he gives me little "love letters". I know that they are catered specifically for me because they are things that would only touch my heart. And it doesn't just go for me. I have a front row seat to watch God change people's lives. There have been so many times where I have seen how God (the master planner) has guided and placed people experiences in people's lives for years. There is a song that I love called Seeing for the first time (I might have mentioned it before, buut) and there is a line that always gets me. "how many years have you planned this moment here, to show me that you love me?" For some of these people, God has had this in the works for years. He is amazing the way he cares so tenderly for each of his children and does all that he can (while still respecting their agency) to lead them back home to him.
My mission has been everything. I can't thank my Savior enough for this experience that he has given me to be a missionary.
I hope that is absolutely clear that I love my Savior. The most honorable thing that I have ever done, has been to stand in his shoes and experience just the tiniest bit what it was like for him when he walked the earth; to help his children in his stead and to love them for him. I want more than anything else in the world to make him proud and to be able to hear him say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant" Everyone talks about me going back to the "real world" but this experience has been more real to me than anything else. Elder Butler always says that it takes 18-24 months to serve a mission, but it takes a lifetime to live it. This name tag is on my heart forever. I will always be a missionary. I will always be a disciple because it truly is the most joyful path. I love my Savior. I know that He lives. I know he loves me.
Today during personal study, I opened my scriptures and just happened to fall on 3 Nephi 17. Verse 20 says, "Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full."
My joy is full.
Love, soeur Bates
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